Untitled.

I've been wanting to write about this since Saturday. But I just don't find the right words.

Throughout this decade of friendship, I was always there, and I always know what to say to make her feel better, and I always know what to do to cheer her up. Always. At school, I used to write cute notes to wish her good luck in exams, or to help her through any sad moments. Everytime she had to go through another break up, I was always there to convince her that she deserves someone better and that someone better is just out there, waiting. I always know what to say to make her feel better. Always.

But last friday, when she lost her dear father, I'd lost all the comforting words. When she cried, I cried along. When scream, I scream along in my heart. I seriously didn't know what to do, or what to say, except being there, and cried along. I know, I didn't help that much. I was there through out the funeral. I sat beside her during the talkin. I hold the umbrella for her mother. I hold her mother's hand everytime she breakdown. I talked to her poor sister on the phone. I did almost everything, except saying a word. Sumpah, aku tak tau perkataan apa nak cakap.

My dear Hanisz, I am so sad.. Very very sad. Sampai tak terkata. I woke up crying last two nights, because I still carry the burden of your sadness. I still stare at the ceiling, flashing back that moment when you cried and screamed. I love you so much. And you know it breaks my heart that you have to go through this. I want to help you through this hard time. But I dont know how. I seriously dont know how.

Take your time. Grieve.

I am always here. Always.

My prayer is with Papa.

Al-Fatihah.